I’m really sorry if this is super rambly and makes little sense. I’m freakin’ out here.
So, Becca got me to sign up for a choral audition.
I wanted to see if I could get into a choir here…because I don’t sing often, at school, and I really miss it. At home I have the worship team at church every week, where I can sing…but I can’t do that here. And I miss it like crazy. So Becca convinced me to audition.
Auditions. I’m very familiar with them BUT ONLY IN THE DANCE WORLD! =P So. Yep.
the audition just happened. I literally just got back from it about thirty seconds ago. I wanted to get into a choir-y thing called Collegium Musicum – it’s a madrigal choir, and they sing latin-y stuff and madrigals and Middle English and do Evensongs and things. Super spiffy. Right up my alley, no?
I somewhat surprised myself by not being nervous or afraid at all for the audition. I was quite nervous for it earlier this summer, but got someone to tell me some of what they do, and it wasn’t scary-sounding, so. I no was nervous. And that’s really weird to me. =P I mean, I’ve done tons of dance auditions before, and they don’t scare me at all anymore, usually. The only time I really get nervous is those last five seconds before my first entrance, when we’re doing a show. But that’s not scared-nervous, that’s too-excited-and-happy-for-words nervous. Anyhow.
So the audition was super super fun. And exciting. It was short – only like fifteen minutes. He had me singing scales and things, and then he’d play random combinations of notes that sounded dissonant or weren’t really a logical musical phrase and have me sing them back to him. That was a little bit tricky, but not bad. Then he asked me to sight-read a line of music, which was also a bit intimidating, but I did way better than I thought I would – only off on one note. yessssssss. Thanks you, suffering through piano lessons for so many years. ;)
The professor doing the auditions said he wasn’t sure is Collegium was actually going to run or not – there’s apparently a great shortage of male voices ;) But all through the audition, he seemed super impressed with my voice.
Which is completely puzzling and mind-blowing and WHAT.
And he got me singing both higher and lower than I thought I could comfortably go, without any trouble at all. DOUBLE WHAT.
And afterward, he said I needed to take some voice lessons (which I’ve wanted to do for a great many years now), and said he really, really, really wanted me to join, not Collegium, or the Women’s Choir, or the other choirs like that, but the College Chapel Choir.
At that point I think I just died. Inside. I’m also still dead currently.
The Chapel Choir is Hope’s most prestigious (I think) choral group. In my eyes, at least, and granted I don’t know a lot about singing here at Hope. But. Anyhow. They travel around (I dunno how far they travel – if they go in-state or in-country or what), and tons of singing, and cool stuff, and they’ve sung in chapel a few times, and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ll ever hear, and I always really wished I could ever in a million years be half as good enough to get into it.
And now I don’t know what to do with myself.
Because Collegium fits in my schedule. The women’s choir mighttttt fit…I dunno. I kind of think it won’t – it’s during the day twice a week, and I may have classes then – I don’t even know my own schedule yet XD wups. The Chapel Choir meets four evenings a week.
I would love, so, so, so much, to be a part of that. One, I know it would definitely grow my singing skills by a ton, and it would be challenging (very), and exciting. And two, the things they sing are beautiful and ever sine I first heard them I’ve wished I could do that. But I can’t. I really don’t think it would be a good idea for me, right now, to join something that is such a big commitment. I have a very busy schedule in terms of academic classes alone already, and then adding on top of that Sacred on saturdays, Sacred Leadership meetings once a week and responsibilities that go with being on leadership, working nine hours a week, hopefully auditioning for several dance performance opportunities (look up Grand Rapids Art Prize. The dance department is joining up with English and Music departments to do a piece there. I reallllly wanna audition. SO MUCH FUN. so insaneee in terms of rehearsals. But it only goes until fall-break-ish. So. and then student dance concert, faculty dance concert, nutcracker, etc.), and co-leading a bible study (which means I’m both in a bible study and helping lead a different bible study), and…I feel like I’m missing something. Or maybe two things.
I can’t even keep my own life straight as it is. Joining a choir that meets four evenings a week and travels…is a really bad idea.
But if I don’t do that, and Collegium doesn’t happen, and the women’s choir is at the same time I have classes at…
then I gonna be really sad.
Geez. I got up the nerve to go audition. I SHOULD GET SOMETHING OUT OF THIS RIGHT??
Also, he said I had amazing potential, and my voice had a great range, and lots of power and control that could be built on and made better, and he was impressed with my sight reading (what. when is that EVER a thing.), and he really, really wanted me in a choir.
I don’t get it.
now I don’t know what to do with myself.
…I suppose step one is to figure out what, exactly, my schedule really is…
since it all starts tomorrow, you know.
golly gee. tomorrow is first day of classes.
well. yep. that’s my cue to go find a rock to hide under. brb.