Registration-Evils, that is.
It’s registration time again. I can sign up for next-semester classes Tuesday morning. Wee.
I’m excited for next semester. Well. Most of it. The classes I’m looking at mostly all sound wonderful. The only thing is…I’m not going to be taking any dance. No technique classes, anyway. I’ll hopefully be taking Creative Dance for Children, which should be awesome, but…no real dance classes. I’ll still have Sacred on saturdays, and I can audition for Dance 41, and sign up for the Student Dance Concert, so I won’t be completely without dance. And I’d like to try auditioning for one of Hope’s dance companies, even though I think my chances of getting in are quite slim since I pretty much mostly do Ballet and Modern and nothing else and I’m not too good at either. …But still. No dance classes.
Not sure how I feel about this. It will be the first time since age three that I won’t be taking any dance. Also the first time since age three that I won’t be taking any Ballet. Which honestly…I think I’m okay with. I’ve come to the rather frightening, confusing, unhappy conclusion that I should get away from Ballet for a bit. Focus on something else – preferably Modern, but Jazz would be good too. I think stepping away from Ballet would be good for me, in terms of my dancing in general. I’ve been taking less and less joy in dance, but especially ballet, lately. I think stepping back from ballet will help. Because honestly, why should I continue to push myself so hard in something I’ll never be able to improve much more in, when I could be investing more of that time and energy into something in which I can still improve? Taking Modern and Jazz here has been amazing, because for the first time in some years, I’ve seen actual improvement in my dancing. Not so much in ballet. I’ve gotten better…but not enough. No more than a new teacher who sees me with different eyes can give. I haven’t gotten more, I’ve just bettered what I already had. And honestly, I don’t think there’s any more for me to get, in Ballet. So I think taking a break from it might be a good thing.
…but stepping back from dance entirely? Gosh. I don’t know. I’m very much not too happy with the thought.
The more I’ve thought about it, though, the easier it gets to resign myself. I really do think it will be good for me, to take a break. If only because it will remind me why I dance in the first place, why I like it. That’s a good thing, and a much-needed one. Dance and I haven’t been getting along well at all, recently.
But. such is life. I suppose I’ll live, anyway. The fact that the thing Anna has been identifying herself with her entire life is suddenly going away isn’t a big deal. Psh. I can deal.