On Blogging

It’s a very strange thing, keeping a blog. Very strange.

Here I am, posting my life on the internet for all and sundry to read about. I’ve never been a very public person, or one to talk about my life or complain about things to people outside my family and very select few friends. Yet keeping this blog is one of the most enjoyable things I do. Isn’t the internet strange?

What is even more strange, however, is what blogging does to relationships.

I post my life on here. Everyone who reads this blog knows me. They know what I like to do, where I like to be, what I believe in (or don’t), what my worldview is and what things bring me down or build me up. They know what I’m feeling, what I’m doing. They know me.

But I know absolutely nothing about them, in many cases.

It’s like a one-way friendship. So many people consider themselves friends with me, because they know me (or at least the me that presents herself on my blog). But I don’t consider myself friends with very many people at all. Some of you who read this blog I know nothing at all about. I also have no idea how you even found my blog. Which is not a problem, it’s just somewhat fascinating to me. *grins* What is even more fascinating is that you stick around and actually keep reading my posts. XD I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.

(…Ok I’m sorry I just had to say it. *hides in TARDIS from Doctor Who fans who I have just reduced to shivering blobs of weeping jello*)

Another strange thing about blogging is the fact that I used to be friends with some of my readers. We kept in contact very regularly. I knew all about them, and they knew all about me, and it was a lovely two-way friendship. Then I got a blog, and my friends graduated, and I graduated, and we dropped contact…but they still read this. I haven’t spoken to them in years, but they still read my blog. They still consider us friends, because they still know me, but to me they may as well be strangers because we’ve not actually spoken in a very long time.

I have decided the internet isn’t a good place for friendships to happen.

But sometimes it’s the only place, and better the strange anti-permanence, the constant contact dropped to nothing, and the reality of probably never meeting than no friends at all.

Maybe.

I still haven’t decided on that point yet.

Get back to me in a few years and I may have an answer.

 

And on that note, I love all my readers (yes, you guys) and even if I don’t actually know you I’m honored that you consider me a friend, and comment on my blog, and generally be awesome. Thanks. You make blogging more fun. I like you.

*pats readers on head and hands out Christmas cookies*

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35 Comments Add yours

  1. joctavianr says:

    Well, as I sit in your kitchen commenting on your blog, I for one am rather glad that friendships on the internet happen. I think that the value of even a brief friendship and the learning that comes from it is far more important than the pain of the possible separation. Every relationship we have brings to life another part of who we are. Even after a friendship ends, the influence of that friendship still reveals things about us. So I would say that you can value even the dead friendships because they’ve made you who you are.

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    1. mariertps says:

      ^Listen to the octagon. *nods* words o wisdom.

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      1. Bessie Lark says:

        …octagon? *quizzical grin*

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          1. AnnaEstelle says:

            …*cough* I dun wanna know.

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      2. Bessie Lark says:

        Oh wait I get it. From Octavian, right?

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        1. mariertps says:

          Yep, he has eight sides to him. See? *twirls the octagon* one, two, three, four… xD

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    2. AnnaEstelle says:

      …’Kay Justin I only have one question. Whyever were you sitting in the KITCHEN reading my blog? o_O

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      1. joctavianr says:

        Because the other rooms were cold . . .

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        1. AnnaEstelle says:

          Ah. that makes complete sense. See, told you that’s why the kitchen floor is nice.

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    3. AnnaEstelle says:

      “Every relationship we have brings to life another part of who we are.”
      …and then when the relationship ends it dies again. Or is that just me? Darnit. I knew it. XD

      “Even after a friendship ends, the influence of that friendship still reveals things about us. So I would say that you can value even the dead friendships because they’ve made you who you are.”
      Very true. But that can be both a good thing and a bad thing – who I am. And thus isn’t always worth valuing, save as an example of what NOT to do. ;) But you have a point, and I do agree that even dead relationships are valuable in some way or other.

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      1. joctavianr says:

        True. That part can die with the loss of friendship. But isn’t simply having seen ourselves, simply knowing another aspect of who we are, even if it fades, worth the pain? And, possibly even more important than the changes that friendship makes in us, isn’t it worth the pain to have simply appreciated for a while someone who you admired and loved so much that you could call them “friend?”
        To simply see someone who you can love, who you can admire, to reassure yourself that beauty exists in humanity, isn’t that worth loss? I mean, you and I may not remain friends after the relationships and responsibilities of adulthood take over our lives. But painful as that might be, I know that I will treasure the memories I have of you, treasure the beauty of character I saw in you, and the lessons I learned from you. I saw Anna Goodling in you, and no matter how hard I search, I could never see that anywhere else. There is no other way for me to have seen what I saw in you than to have known you. And the blessing of seeing that is worth a great deal of pain. I would hope that I have influenced you similarily. And isn’t that influence, even if temporary in action, worth something?

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        1. AnnaEstelle says:

          “isn’t it worth the pain to have simply appreciated for a while someone who you admired and loved so much that you could call them “friend?” To simply see someone who you can love, who you can admire, to reassure yourself that beauty exists in humanity, isn’t that worth loss?”
          That’s what I keep telling myself. Perhaps one day I shall brainwash myself enough to actually believe it with more than just my brain. ;)

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          1. joctavianr says:

            Not all things of value are permanent. Do you hate chocolate just because it vanishes so quickly? To love is to let go. Often we think of that as refering to giving up on pursuing someone when it is wrong to do so. But it applies to other loves as well. True love is altruistic and could suffer loss of communication and still retain joy. Friendships do not necessitate permanence. They invite it, and it is a blessing to them. But when separation comes, if our love is altruistic, we can survive it and still delight in what we had. Don’t regret a blessing simply because it may stop coming.

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            1. AnnaEstelle says:

              Everything you are saying is correct. (except chocolate. CHOCOLATE SHOULD NEVER VANISH THERE SHOULD ALWAYS BE MORE OF IT FOREVER. *nod*). I agree with you. However, this thing called Change is something I will probably never fully accept. Major flaw in Anna’s character, yes, but it’s there and probably always will be. You never realize how much you have until you lose it. And then you spend your life wishing for it back. *wonders how depressing I can be in one comment* I’m on a roll. \m/

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              1. joctavianr says:

                Yeah, I get the feelings. =) I just hope that those feelings don’t overwhelm brighter ones. But I do understand what you’re saying. It’s a sad part of human nature that what we have we squander and what we lack we desire. So, when we have opportunity to do or say what matters, we stay still and silent. And when the moment passes, we desire the opportunity we had. Also, when we have friendship, we take it for granted and devalue it. Then when it’s gone, it becomes so all important. =(

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      2. taethiel says:

        I love how you guys are living the same house yet having these deep conversations online. TPSer-weirdness ftw.

        *ahem* ;) Gosh I miss you guysss. -_-

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      3. joctavianr says:

        Haha. Yeah, Bekah, what’s even weirder is that we are sitting iright next to each other. But in person anna is too busy talking to the cat to talk to me.

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        1. AnnaEstelle says:

          @ Taeth: Yea um. We’re sitting right next to each other and conversing in my blog comments. I’m not quite sure if this is pathetically sad or absolutely hilarious…

          @ Justin: I wouldn’t say I’ve taken for granted and devalued friendships – what I have done is placed too MUCH value in them. They don’t become all-important when they’re gone – they become something that used to define a vast part of me but now has completely disappeared, so I am left lacking a part of who I was.

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      4. taethiel says:

        Hang on. So US sitting in the same room chatting on Skype is pathetic, but you and Justin sitting in the same room commenting a conversation is funny? ANNA I CALL DOUBLE STANDARD. -___-

        …*ahem* =)

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        1. AnnaEstelle says:

          Hahahahaha. …Wait. Did we really do that? We did with Ashley, but…that was with Ashley so it didn’t count. Did we seriously do that? o_O Gosh. I don’t remember this. Rebekah what have you done to me.
          And did we really say it was pathetic? I mean, skyping in the same room could also be funny…

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      5. taethiel says:

        No we didn’t do it. I suggested it. And you said no, that would be pathetic. -_-

        …*ahem* XD =P

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        1. AnnaEstelle says:

          …oh. right. =P I remember now. Oh come on, we managed to have some very nice conversations without the aid of skype. -_- give us some credit. XD

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  2. Bessie Lark says:

    *sighs at Justin’s post* So it’s a habit that lasts even after TPS, hmm? Interacting cyber-ly instead of in person. Goodness. =D

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    1. AnnaEstelle says:

      In his defense, I’ve been gone all morning. ;)

      Like

  3. mariertps says:

    *glares* *charges screaming bloody murder* don’t you dare do something like shut down your blog or I shall come after you with knives and axes and a cheese-shredder. *grins* You may think it is a one-way relationship, but look at how much you know about us through our nice, polite comments! XD

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    1. AnnaEstelle says:

      No worries. I love my blog. It’s going nowhere. =P

      Like

  4. sarahtps says:

    Interesting post . . . I know that I probably fall into the category of people who consider you a friend but who you might not feel the same about.
    I must say, though, that I am very thankful for internet friendships. For a girl whose social life pretty much fits the ‘unsocialized homeschooler’ stereotype, it’s nice to have a way to interact with people from my home.

    Like

    1. AnnaEstelle says:

      Yea. If it weren’t for internet friendships, I would literally have no friends right now. XD I’m thankful for it too. It’s just…not the way friendships are supposed to happen in real life. Which is painful, sometimes. And heck, Sarah, I AM the definition of ‘unsocialized homeschooler’…*grins* XD

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      1. sarahtps says:

        Ouch. Good point, though. And LOL.

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  5. Lalaithiel says:

    You may not know me, and I may know you, but I don’t consider you my friend. *reads what I just said* That sounds really harsh. xD I just consider you “Seth’s friend” or “Anna the dancer.” And I agree, Internet friendships are hard, but it’s pretty amazing to have friends all around the world. ^^

    Like

    1. AnnaEstelle says:

      Hahaha. No worries. I completely understand. XD
      See I should have been born in Germany. They have a completely different concept of what constitutes a friend over there. -_- Then there would be none of these problems. =D

      Like

  6. eruthaedur says:

    I think Justin put it very well..although you’re right to a large degree DLF. :/

    Like

    1. AnnaEstelle says:

      …You still read this…? …wow. =P

      Like

  7. Lalaithiel says:

    Wow Justin, lots of truth there. “Don’t regret a blessing simply because it may stop coming.” *heartily agrees but struggles to put into action* =/

    Like

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