Tonight’s Opening Night for the Nutcracker. I’ll never get used to not having anyone here to watch me dance.
I like performing. But I’ll be glad when it is all over. I’m tired.
It’s hard not to wish for the Stowe Dance Academy again, and the big stage at Johnson, and the mountains and the view surrounding, and the little paved space outside the forbidden door where we’d sit and talk while we waited for the finale.
I don’t like changes.
I can’t blink, sitting in the front row at the Knickerbocker Theater, because when I close my eyes, it feels like I’m at home again in my own theater and this isn’t my own theater.
I wonder do I have one of those, any more? Guess not, really. I suppose that is a sad thing.
The stage here is so small. And everyone is so nice, not like the people at Stowe, but the dancers here aren’t family because I didn’t grow up with them, and I did with the girls at SDA. In a way.
…does it count as a performance if there’s no one there to see me?
But I’m going home in six days.
And I miss my cats.
And I’m going to miss my classes. They were good.
I’m all done with them. Just exams and final portfolios left.
I want to work on my novel over break.
I’m published in Opus (anyone want a copy? I’ll steal you one. O=) shh don’t tell).
I love this song.
…and my stage call is in a hour. Opening night. wish me luck? only two performances, then I can be done for a long time.