I’m about 5k behind in wordcount (as of today – come midnight, it will be about 6.5k behind). It’s not that much. It’s really not bad. 5k words is not all that hard to come up with and write down.
the problem is that it’s 5k PLUS the amount I need to write added on EACH DAY, and I don’t know that I will be able to keep up with the days’ individual words, much less write even more than I need to get back on track.
I goin’ down.
not reaching 50k may be the death of me.
I began this knowing the chances of me winning this year were in the negative numbers. But I am incredibly competitive with myself, and once I set my mind to do something…If I then don’t actually succeed in doing it I am automatically ranked “failure” in my own eyes, regardless of whether or not I knew I was going to fail in the first place. so this is going to be interesting.
What is worse, I KNOW I can make it. I KNOW I can reach 50k. It is completely possible. All it would take is an extra hour and a half of not-sleeping every night. I’d be caught up and on my way to winning in no time.
but 1:00am bedtimes are hard enough on their own, without worrying about a novel added to that.
Also, the first half of this month I had it easy. Now? Now I have a research paper and several other smallerish writing assignments for my tolkien class to write, as well as a bunch of other writing assignments to revise for my final portfolio in that class. And two long essays to revise for my CW final portfolio. and an author portrait presentation to write for the same class. And a paper to write for my Ballet class. And that’s just the major writing homework I have…not including all the weekly shorter writing assignments for German, and the other non-written assignments for CW and German and dance classes. And the insanity that is the weekly readings for Tolkien Lit.
My gracious me.
Why do I do this to myself. If I lose I’ll never get over myself.
but homework always, always comes first. Always.
…which, unfortunately, means sleep comes last. Which means I go to bed at 1:00am instead of midnight. which means I spend my German and Lit classes struggling not to fall asleep, and skip chapel to come back to my room and nap (but then decide that’s a waste of time and spend it doing homework instead so I can write tonight). …which I guess means I should stop ranting on my blog and go actually accomplish some novel.
curse you, ambition, English majors, homework, and the 24-hour day. WHY IS IT NOT THIRTY SIX???
I apologize in advance to anyone who has to live with me for the next couple months.