…and more dance…

…and more dance…

…and more dance…

…and more dance…

…and more dance…

…and more dance…

…and more dance…

…and…are you getting the picture?

My life has been swallowed by dance. And all the homework I have to do is glowering at dance and waiting for it to regurgitate me so that it can promptly set to and tear me limb from limb and feed my still-barely-breathing carcass to the metaphorical dogs.


this morning I got up at 7:30 and went with four other Sacred dancers to a church in the area, and did some liturgical dance as part of their service.

then I got back to campus and had a whopping half-hour to kill before I headed to the chapel, where I stayed from noon until 3:15, doing…more dance! Namely Sacred’s spring worship service. Then I had a whopping 45 minutes to kill until 4:00, when I went to the theater and stayed there until 5:45 doing…still more dance! Tech-ing for the student dance concert.

Which was a total failure on my part at least. Have you ever finally mastered something difficult and felt so proud of yourself, only to find out that you’re completely unable to do it once you’re set in a new environment? yea, that was me. the stage lights (which are a whole lot closer to me than I’m used to, given the smallness of the stage), and the amount of wide open space looking out into the audience…completely throws you, especially when it’s combined with already-poor eyesight, and you’ve been rehearsing for months in a small enclosed dance studio.

yea, so I feel pretty horrid about the fact that opening night is um, tomorrow. And there’s like…no more rehearsals until I’m thrown up on the stage to try and remember all the changes to the piece and do a million turns in a circle (think earth orbiting the sun, but much smaller and a whole lot faster) without getting so dizzy I either fall off the stage (large possibility) or end up looking like an idiot who can’t spot (truth) and making my choreographer look bad. Curse you, poor eyesight and blinding stage lights followed by the pitch-black gaping hole that’s the house! -_-

yea. I had ice cream after dinner to try and make myself feel better. It failed miserably.

and after that there was an attempt at Sociology reading, which I’ve gotten so far behind on and you know what, I don’t even care. I don’t think I actually took in anything I read tonight. I think it was about cities…or population…or something…maybe?

And now it’s 9:40 and I pretty much have used up all my energy as well as what little I had on reserve for crisis situations (so if there are any life-and-death events coming up, I’m telling you now I’ll pretty much be toast). AND I still have to write a paper for Improv, the only instructions for which are: Write a paper. About something from the class. And be cohesive. And it has to be developed. The end. What. HOW MANY PAGES? ABOUT SOMETHING I LEARNED? OR SOMETHING I HAVE TROUBLE WITH STILL? OR SOMETHING I FOUND EXCITING? SOMETHING I ENJOYED? HATED? ABOUT YOU, STEVEN, AND YOUR INCORRIGIBLE “GO AND SIN NO MORE”? WHATTTTT??? I NEED MORE INSTRUCTION.

I have a hard enough time keeping the day of the week straight right now. You can hardly expect me to be able to think well enough at this point in time to come up with a paper topic about a dance class that I don’t even really like all that much so I can write a cohesive paper that is developed and in-depth about it for an unknown number of pages that probably should be more than one. Show a little mercy.

then I have to get up early tomorrow for…ha, more dance. Someone shoot me. Right now. Maybe this is the false reality and I’ll wake up in the real one once I’m dead here.

You know, there are times I really, really question my continuing to dance.

…but then there are those moments when I’m watching the Senior Improv piece in the Sacred worship service and all I can think of is my Senior Piece with Helena back home, or when I’m sitting in the dressing room under the stage getting my makeup done for me, and all the sudden I hear the music that another of the dance pieces is to and it’s all I can do to keep from jumping up and screaming or bursting into tears because it’s the same music that Helena used to use for the introductions to all the show DVDs, and then I remember why I still dance…

because I’m not ready to let got of all those memories yet.



So. Mommy and Aunt Sylvia – I hope you don’t mind. I may go into a vegetative state of hibernation while in CA. Either that or my body will get fed up with being abused and deprived of sleep and it will just like, die. =P

If I actually live through the next eleven days, it will be a miracle.

And if not, don’t put it on my tombstone that I was killed by homework. all those other poor students out there will hate you for ruining the faint hope that we all hold somewhere deep within our hearts that school has never killed anyone yet.

maybe just put like, “died peacefully in her sleep” and don’t mention that the sleep was a stress-induced coma stemming from overwork and loss of brain cells after writing five essays and a research paper in four days and then immediately turning around and taking several exams…


P.S. remind me next year not to be in the student dance concert AND sacred AND regular dance classes AND Dance 39. it’s just stupid. and suicidal.


4 Comments Add yours

  1. AnnaEstelle says:

    and for those of you who are wondering – yes, I just wrote a blog post when I have a mile-high stack of homework and papers staring at me that are all due within the next five days. Why, you ask? It’s not just procrastination. It’s because my brain literally does not function well enough at the moment to write anything remotely cohesive that’s about anything other than the few remaining thoughts that are still floating around in my head before total numbness takes over. It’s ok, I’ll get over it. Possibly even before next year.


  2. Lulu says:

    Thats okay, just remember not to puke on stage and you’ll be fine.


    1. AnnaEstelle says:

      my dancing looks like somebody puked on stage. -_- I mean really. you try it. Go stand in a dark room, then get someone to hold a floodlight in one corner three feet away from you shining right in your face. Then spin around in place as fast as you can. Then move in a circle while still spinning. And see what happens.
      it’s not pretty…


  3. grannyandpoppy says:

    You go girl, you can do it!



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