This. It’s perfect. XD
Emily, you’re a genius. You could write the next “R & G are D”…;)
Wittenberg University, late 1590s.
Scene: 2:30am. A dark, gothic study hall, a sort of Faustian “dumpfes Mauerloch.” Tall black windows, wooden table with half-burned candles and stacks of parchment. Hamlet and Horatio are pulling an all-nighter for their Philosophy exam the next morning.
Hamlet is the worst study partner imaginable.
Hamlet: (emphatically not studying, staring into space in a metaphysical manner) Words, words, words…..
Silence from Horatio, surrounded by stacks of parchment and dutifully color-coding his notes.
Hamlet: (beginning to chew the end of his quill pen, poetic but unhelpful) When midterms come, they come not single spies but in battalions. (silence) –eh, Horatio?
Horatio: (scribbling furiously) Shut up, Hamlet. Study! Or at least let me study.
Hamlet: (struck by an idea, gesturing dramatically) But there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy! Let’s go find some food.
Horatio: (shoving a stack of…
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