Excerpt…

Because I CAN. Ha.

This is an excerpt from the “novel” I wrote in Creative Writing last year. And I’m posting it because I used it as an example of my writing for a college creative writing scholarship, and reading over it made me remember just how much I LOVE this plot. Even though my “novel” stankkkkk. =P And now I REALLY want to rewrite it…I miss Ada ='( Hehe =P After I finish The Power Beyond, I’m going back and rewriting this… (Oh by the way. Official announcement. I’m calling the Thalon/Alasse/Netya book The Power Beyond. At least for the moment…*cough* we all now how good Anna is at making up her mind XD) Anyhow. Here ’tis. My excerpt. …can you tell how much I love writing dreams? …thought so…XD


A portion from a dream scene taken out of my novel, titled To Dream

This time there was no chase after the shadow child. Ada soared through shifting red lights, flying upwards, faster and faster, breaking through a glass wall of silence. A blazing inferno met her gaze. A building burned, sending jets of sparks flaming into the air. Cinders rained down on Ada’s face and arms, burning her painlessly. Screams, the shrieking of horses, split the hot air, issuing from the inferno. Again and again. Something, a dim figure in the smoke and sparks, sped into the flames, towards the agonized sounds. One wall of the building collapsed inward, and the roof sank towards the ground. An explosion of melting hot coals blew up before Ada’s face. Suddenly, everything stopped. Time slowed to a crawl as Ada watched. Slowly, slowly, a second wall fell inward and the roof split down the center under the strain. The entire building collapsed, each splinter of charred wood taking hours, days, years to fall. The screams were cut off in an instant that lasted a lifetime.

Suddenly the flames were gone, extinguished like a candle before a draft. The ruins of the building lay bare under a cold sun, smoking dimly in defeated exhaustion.

Out of the ashes a snarling figure rose, hideous and twisted. A knife, dripping scarlet and black, glinted in its hand. Its face was contorted with malice and sickening joy. Ada screamed as it turned towards her, stepping over the hot coals. She ran, faster than light. Still the thing advanced behind her, walking slowly and surely, gaining on her. She ran, motionless in the vast darkness that fell swiftly upon her like a dead weight. She heard laughter, laughter that filled her with loathing and a fear so strong it stopped her heart. She almost turned back to welcome the knife.

The oppressing darkness lifted in a clap of blinding fire. The inn stood before her, no longer cheerful and pristine. Blood washed over it, pouring in great rivers from the gaping windows, staining the earth and choking the air with its stench. The laughter that had haunted her before broke out again, louder and closer. Mortally terrified of what she would see, Ada turned.

A woman was on the ground. A huge man, a giant, stood over her. It was the twisted form that had risen out of the ashes of the burning building. The knife he had held before was still in his hand. It was clean and cruel, not a drop of blood on the silver blade. The woman on the ground screamed something incomprehensible, clasping her hands, pleading. She did not look to the man standing over her. She did not cry out for mercy from him. Her eyes, wide and black, fixed unshakably on the sky. Her trembling hands reached out to something, someone, who she knew would save her. Someone who would not allow the man to touch her, someone who would look on her from above and save her, someone…Someone.

Ada knew she would be all right. She knew the woman would be safe. Nothing could happen to her, she was invincible, indestructible. The woman turned on the ground, calmly staring up at the man above her, smiling slightly through her tears, shaking her head slowly. He could not harm her. There was Someone watching over her. He could not harm her.

The knife blade flashed as it moved, a silver blur in the air, turning red in an instant. The woman fell back. Her blood, scarlet as wilted rose petals, soaked into the ground, pouring in diminishing rivulets, trickling through the burnt grass. Ada collapsed, all her faith leaving her as the blood stained the very air red. All faith, all hope, all joy left her soul as the woman before her grew pale and cold. There was no Someone. Lies.

Fire and blood covered the scene. Ada turned her face away. From the corner of her eye she caught movement through the blaze. Looking back, she gasped. The shadow child stood high above her, her back to Ada and her arms raised in rigid despair. Her whole body shook. Ada called out to her, stepping towards the flames that bore her aloft.

Suddenly Ada was there beside her. The girl turned slowly, stiffly towards her. Her arms fell to her sides, lifeless. Ada gasped in sudden fear.

The girl’s features were starkly visible.

Black eyes stared from her white face into Ada’s own, wide and cold. Thick lashes and richly arched brows gave an air of regal beauty to the girl’s hard countenance. Black hair, glossy, thick, and filled with ash and fire, framed her face, and her red lips were parted in hopeless uncaring. The girl looked back at Ada, withdrawn and hate-filled. Terrifying.

As Ada watched, the last spark of life left the girl’s eyes. The last expression of fear, grief, and despair. The last shred of humanity. The last drop of memory. She became cold as ice and hard as granite, a carven statue of immobile, writhing flames. Ada sank back, horrified. The image of the girl faded. Everything, every bit of happiness, every bit of sunshine and green grass, every bit of morning, every bit of spring, every bit of life and breath, every bit of hope disappeared. Ada was alone.

…Oh yea. \m/

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33 Comments Add yours

  1. AnnaEstelle says:

    Oh yes. I figured out the featured image thing for headers. AHH. Now I’m really excited. =)
    …and I think I killed the internet, too. 0_0
    Actually, never mind, it was already dead…Heh.

    And before you shoot me, Luke, I just uploaded that image from my pictures. So I didn’t have to go searching through a million pictures online to find it. HA. So I didn’t do anything to it.
    But it sounds way more cool to say I killed the internet. It makes me feel special. =)

    Like

  2. Tiberius Shift says:

    O_____O

    First off, you have an obsession with people in burning buildings. Were you ever caught in one as a child, or is it just your worst fear or something? =P

    Secondly, you have an obsession with naming your characters with the letter “A.” *nods* Alasse, Ada, Arhael, Aranel (I think I spelled those right, I get them confused). When you name characters with the same first letter or beginning sound, it confuses the reader…

    Thirdly, this excerpt was EPIC, even considering that I haven’t even read your creative writing novel. Fantastic work.

    Fourthly, this is no excuse for not writing The Power Beyond =)

    Like

    1. AnnaEstelle says:

      OK STOP BRINGING THAT UP! …actually, that’s the first time you brought it up. DON’T bring it up, then. -_- …I know I do. XD My sister pointed that out too…she thinks it’s some sort of psychological somethingorother…you’ll have to ask Carl Jung. …*cough* XD =P And no. I’ve never been caught in a burning building. And I’ve never been afraid of burning things. XD I actually think fire is one of the most intriguing elements. …maybe that has something to do with it…=P

      I KNOW THAT TOO! -_- =P A names are always the coolest, though…-_- I dunno why. I just really, really like A names =P And I know. Arhael/Aranel/Alasse are confusing =P I may change Arhael’s name when I edit…but I really likeeeeeeeeeee it *pouts* =/ Hmph. =P

      Agh. I still get chills thinking about it. O_O …not to like boast or anything, butttt…*cough* =P =P JK. XD Hehehehehe =P *halo*

      OH YEA??? …I guess you’re right. -_-

      Like

      1. Netya Taethiel says:

        O___O

        Anna.

        No changing Arhael’s name.

        I like it too.

        It’s epic.

        You can change Aranel. But not Arhael.

        =P

        Like

        1. AnnaEstelle says:

          Hahahahaha…you’ll have to talk to Ashley about that…;)

          Like

      2. Netya Taethiel says:

        -_- She’s such a troublesome child =P …and if she sees that, she is going to kill me…*flees* o_O

        Like

      3. AnnaEstelle says:

        *dies laughing*
        Yep. She is.
        SEE??? YET AGAIN, Aranel causes trouble…=P =P

        Like

      4. ashleytm says:

        Bekah, now why did you have to go and say that? o.O
        haha that’s because it’s fun.. and it’s better than getting in trouble *nods* =P
        *evil smile*

        Like

      5. Netya Taethiel says:

        =D Because I love you so muchly. <3 *evil grin* ;)
        …Anna, her history of loving to cause trouble goes a long time back… as long as I've known her… I think she may be a hopeless case =/ Best to just kill the character off. *nod*

        Like

      6. AnnaEstelle says:

        …the <3 and the evil grin don't go well together, Taeth…=P
        Oh don't worry. I'm already planning on that. =)

        Like

      7. ashleytm says:

        oh well then YOU, old girl, aren’t so good either… everything gets more complicated with you -_- <3 ;))
        heheheheheheheheheheheh
        epicness.

        Like

      8. Netya Taethiel says:

        *cough* …I suppose I can’t deny it… but… but…-_____________- =P
        …epicness? You like dying? o_O I always knew there was something wrong with you, but… wow…

        Like

      9. ashleytm says:

        rofl xD yesss =P ;)
        lol I’ve never tried… O_o but my character can die… and hopefully she’ll die epicly and heroically and everything else =P

        Like

        1. AnnaEstelle says:

          …and brutally and cruelly and painfully and horribly and gruesomely and bloodily and in the most painfully inhuman way I can think up…
          Ok, maybe not THAT bad…
          But she SO is not getting off easy. -___-
          …Ugh. You know, I’m really not looking forward to writing that XD

          Like

      10. ashleytm says:

        lol as long as you have the first two =P Poor Aranel… =P
        *siiiighhhh* all she did was help you guys and this is what she getsss… =P
        -_- *wants more story anyways*

        Like

        1. AnnaEstelle says:

          What, brutally and cruelly? Oh don’t worry, I’ll have those all right…
          hehehe =P

          Like

      11. ashleytm says:

        mhm -_-
        I know, ’cause you are brutal and cruel ;)

        Like

        1. AnnaEstelle says:

          =D Well then, there are no problems. Good. =)

          Like

    2. ashleytm says:

      you could change Netya’s name to something that starts with A…. o.o that would be cool =PP

      Like

      1. Netya Taethiel says:

        Uh, NO. -________-

        I LIKE her name, thankyouverymuch. Hmph. It is staying the way it is.

        Like

      2. AnnaEstelle says:

        Yea. And she already changed it once, too…
        If she changes again, I’m choosing. And I’ll change it to Valwiste (Yes, miss Elvish Princess. WITH a w. *evil grin*). Which means “change of mind”…
        *giggles* =#

        Like

      3. Netya Taethiel says:

        Ewwww…*hates that name* >_< Sounds like something from Wagner's opera, instead of an Elvish name…-__________- =P

        Like

      4. ashleytm says:

        rofl then leave mine alone =P

        Like

      5. AnnaEstelle says:

        *grins* I know, Taeth. That’s why I like it…you sound like a Walkyrie O_O <3 hehehe =P =P

        Like

      6. Netya Taethiel says:

        Precisely, Anna -_________________-

        =P

        Like

  3. Tiberius Shift says:

    Roflol! Who is Carl Jung? We’re all pyromaniacs at heart I think. Charlie Brown once said something like “The three most intriguing things to see are 1. A flickering fire, and 2. A Zamboni machine at work and 3. I forget =P”

    Probably something to do with your name beginning with A. But I forgive you because I had an obsession with “E” names in one of my novels. Elaijic, Erin, Erastus.

    By your own admission that halo was fake XD

    *nods* Finally, someone who knows “right” when she sees it. If I was a smurf I would be Right Smurf. I am the totally unquestionable source of rightness. (jk) =)

    Like

    1. AnnaEstelle says:

      Some psychologist guy who’s now dead. XD I really don’t know. You;d have to ask my sis. =P …wait. YOU forget or HE forgot? O_o =P =P

      Yea…I think it convoluted my brain. =)

      -_- *REAL halo*

      …whatever…O_o =P

      Like

  4. Tiberius Shift says:

    I forget =P

    *doesn’t believe it*

    Like

  5. Netya Taethiel says:

    Leni, quit stalling and write the next chapter =P hehehe ; )

    Like

    1. AnnaEstelle says:

      …*sigh* yea I should get started on that…=P

      Like

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